The Process

Stress and anxiety

Reoccurring medical issues

Heart racing, pain, inflammation

No ability to even do household responsibilities

Get in the hot tub, she says

The night air is cool

No wind, stillness

Not too hot, not too cold

Just right

I sink into my favorite spot

A deep seat with ten jets on my back and shoulders 

My foot finds the small water circulation jet

My arms float out to the sides
Hands being massaged by the neighboring jets

I begin to relax

I reach to the side to grab the bottle

The occasional Bud Light is just right 

The cold smooth liquid streams down my throat

I gaze at the sky

Clear with billions of stars

Beginning to find peace

Only the sound of the jets churning the water

A small plane crosses the horizon 

Its light flashing across the sky

A small dot amongst billions of dots

I am that dot

Just another dot

But I am unique

I do make a difference 

The skyline wouldn't be the same

I have value

Another sip

More difficult to see high into the sky 

The eyelids droop

No matter

It is peace

I have value

I do not need to see

The jets turn off automatically after a time

I move to the foot massage chair

Thirty micro jets pounding upon my feet

Working the nerve endings

The pulsating release brings relaxation to the entire body

The eyelids are heavy

I am here

I see differently

Does it matter?

Am I awake?

The plane is gone

I am here

Semi conscious 

I am praying

Or just being

The control

The anxiety 

The wishing things were different

Does it matter?

Can I change things?

I cannot

I just am

I am in part of the journey through life

The Process

Why must I try to dictate that life?

Why do I try to write my own story?

Am I the author?

My arms float to the side 

Asleep yet awake

The mind has shut down and I just am

No need to control

No need to plan

No need to stress

Just be

The head droops 

I am awake 

I am staring at the water

I look up 

Billions of stars

I am one

The vast canvas of The Incredible Artist

The beer is all gone

The stress is all gone

The anxiety is all gone

The head droops

Why can't I remain like this?

The jets stop

All is quiet to the ears

My spirit continues to hear the Sounds of Life

I choose to turn the jets back on for more pounding of my feet

I choose to bask on this place a bit longer

Twenty minutes longer

Why do I rush away?

What is my hurry?

It is in The Secret Place that I find peace 

Will I find it elsewhere?

Why do I so easily forget?

Am I so dull?

Right now I am not dull

I am being refreshed

I am alive

A dot is flashing across the sky

I can see

Others can see

I am part of the display of His Glory

The glory that covers the earth

My head droops

Semi conscious 

I give myself up

I must decrease

He must increase

I am at peace 

Now I can rest

Now I embrace The Process

What if...?

What if...

...We loved Jesus as much as we love guns?

...We were as committed to Christ as we are to exercise?

...We were as passionate about Christianity as we are about politics?

...We were as dedicated to reaching people as we are about keeping up with the Kardashians?

...We were as willing to talk about Jesus as we are to talk about the weather?

...We were as hungry for spiritual things as we are for fast food?

...We were as concerned with reflecting the image of God as we are about fitting in with the world?

...We loved our neighbors instead of isolating ourselves from them?

...We loved God more than ourselves?

 

What if?

 

 It bothers me when I am not making an impact.  It bothers me when I am a poor reflection of Jesus.  It bothers me when I am a poor husband and father.  It bothers me when I don't have the mind of Christ.  It bothers me when I care more about worldly things than I do about eternal things.

Do these things ever bother you?

What if we are were 100% followers of Christ?  How would we be different?  How would our worlds around us be changed?  What if?

There is Hope!

We can look at life's circumstances and wonder when things will ever change.

We cry out for a transformation in our lives.

We long to be more like Jesus.

We want answers to our prayers.

We contend for change in our lives, our marriages, our families, our finances, and our relationships.

We wonder when we will ever be out of the pit.

We wonder when it will become a new season.

Yet, it seems like things stay the same.  A battle rages within our minds: Will it ever be different?  Will we be stuck with the same issues all our lives?  Will we ever be free?  Is there hope?  Is anything actually going on?

There is hope
I know many people who have been going through serious things in the past several years. After months, years, even decades of struggles, we can be tempted to succumb to the belief that things won't change.  We wonder if there has been any progress.  We wonder if God really will change us.  In the midst of the battle, our faith becomes weak.  We can only see from our own perspective, which is probably not the best one.  Recently, as I was out running, God allowed me to see a different perspective.

I was running along, and it was a challenging day.  I was a bit discouraged because it didn't feel like my running was any easier.  Here I've been running quite a bit for many months, and yet almost every time it is a challenge.  I can feel the strain on my body, I can feel tired, I am continually wanting to just quit, I have to push through the challenge of my body just wanting to sit on the couch.  Many times, a few miles into it, I have the temptation to just stop running for the day. So, this day as I was running, I was questioning why it is constantly a challenge, wondering when it would ever get easier.  Surely by this time, I should just be able to glide across the ground, mile after mile, smiling and not even breaking a sweat.  I should feel like the wind is gently whispering through my hair, birds are singing, the world is cheering me on, that I could just run the entire distance across the USA, that I could talking easily while running, not even breathing heavily.  Right?  No.  It is not that way. 

I use an app on my iPhone that keeps track of all of my runs.  It tracks my speed, my mileage, my minutes per mile, and even gives monthly totals and averages.  It was then that God reminded me that I am making progress.  As I look at my performance statistics, I can see that I now run a few minutes per mile faster, I run further, I am less tired, I have quicker recovery, I have lost over 35 pounds, and I feel way better than I used to.  What God showed me is that as I have gotten in better shape, my body allows me to push for new challenges.  My body takes me to another level.  I continue to challenge myself, as I overcome one obstacle, I immediately strive to attain the next.  At one point it was all I could do to run one minute, then 10, then a mile, then 5k, now I'm up to seven miles and continuing to push myself to new levels.

Spiritually speaking
Then God began to encourage me about my life.  Just as I felt like things were not improving while running, when in fact they were, other things in my life were also improving.   It didn't mean that all challenges just went away.  It didn't mean that now life was all grand and wonderful.  But in the midst of opposition and challenges, I was being strengthened.  I was getting in better "spiritual shape."  Challenges continue to be there, pushing me to be even more reliant upon His grace.

For all of us
May this be an encouragement to us all.  In the midst of our storms of life, I would wager to say that things actually have been happening.  It may not be fun, it may be painful, it may be that God is stripping away layers of our own righteousness, it may be that now we are feeling less spiritual.  But it is all a process.  The goal is not for us to be happy.  The goal is not for us to be rich, good-looking, and on top of the world all the time.  Christianity is a mess.  It messes us up.  It makes us not even recognize our old selves.  Jesus comes in, and rearranges the house, tearing down all that is not of him.  The goal is for Him to be King, for Him to increase and us to decrease, for us to reflect His true love.  And that is a painful process.  He wants to beat the "crap" out of all of us.  So the stripping away, the circumstances we go through, the loss we suffer, the anguish in our souls, are all part of the "training program."  We are being changed!  We are making progress!  We are being strengthened in the very core of our beings!

In the midst of it all, our perspective says nothing is happening.  But that it not true.  God is doing a good work in you and He is faithful to complete it.  He will make a church that is a glorious bride.  He is always with us, never forsaking us.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever - not just "being nice" to us sometimes and "abandoning us" or "being mean" to us at other times.  Just like the running challenges I face, He continually places challenges before us.  Eventually, we learn to rely upon Him, allowing Him to carry us - broken and humbled - through the storms. 

Don't give in to the lies.  Things are changing!  You are being transformed into His likeness.  You are overcoming!  You are not alone! God is good - all the time - in the "good" times and the "bad" times.  The church is become stronger.  You are victorious.  In the end, we win.

Keith

Running. There's Nothing Like It.

Running. There is nothing like it. The feeling of gliding over the ground. The feeling of exhilaration of accomplishment. The excitement of racing against time and hundreds of other competitors. The euphoria of crossing the finish line, completing another race. The ability to drink in the wonders of nature through the changing seasons. The satisfaction of a new Personal Record. The feeling of stress leaving your body. The sigh of completing another running opportunity.

I saw a running T-shirt that said "My sport is your sport's punishment." It made me laugh. When you get in trouble in basketball, football, or baseball, the coach "punishes" you by making you run laps. But what if running is not the punishment, but the delight? What if running is actually enjoyable? A year ago, I would have laughed at the very idea. But now I think I want to buy that T-shirt.

Background
In another blog article - here - I describe how, at the beginning of 2012, I was in bad shape. For the two years prior, I had some health issues that resulted in 35 pounds of additional weight gain, complete loss of energy, and I was very discouraged & depressed. I was now 50 pounds overweight, I struggled through work, and by the time I got home, I pretty much didn't get off the couch.

My initial goal was to lose weight, but I discovered a new passion in the process. I am so excited about running now; I love it. So I wanted to share my excitement of the sport with you and my progressive journey to get there in hopes that you will enjoy as much as I do and enjoy the health benefits along the way.

First things first
As I described in the other blog article, on January 1st, 2012, I could only jog for one minute on the treadmill. At the end of the running, my back hurt horribly due to too much weight on my chest. I decided not to attempt jogging until I had lost about 20 pounds. Jogging/running is a challenge to the body, especially the knees and the back. If you are too overweight, you could end up damaging your body instead of benefiting from running. So, please take it slow. Lose enough weight before attempting any jogging. Walking or speed-walking, along with other exercise & being on a healthy diet will help you lose some of the weight before jogging. Also, proper running shoes are expensive, but necessary to avoid injuries.

The Early Years
When I was younger, I was in very good shape, athletic, and did well at many sports. Basketball was my favorite, which involves huge amounts of running up and down the court. I could easily play for three or four hours without getting very tired. The same was true for other sports. I was also very competitive and always wanted to be the top-ranked in any of the sports in PE class. I did not want to lose; I did not want anyone else better than me. However, running as a sport was never an interest for me. I didn't care if someone else did better. I thought the sport was stupid and pointless. I think the most I ever ran was one mile, since that was a PE class requirement. I was ranked in about the middle of the class.

Interest in Running
I'm not sure exactly what sparked the interest to begin running. I knew that it was a good way to burn calories. I had been sitting so much at my job and on the couch at home. I was desperate for my body to be alive and to feel energetic. Once I lost the 20 pounds, my chest felt much lighter and I felt like I could jog. I enjoy being able to see progress, so I think part of it is that jogging is very easy to gauge progress. I can easily tell if I am faster/slower and if I have went further than the day before.

Initial steps
In order to become a jogger, I did the following:

• I started very slow. I walked on the treadmill for months. Over the course of a workout, I began to increase the elevation so that it became more difficult. Then I'd decrease the elevation but increase the speed just a bit. It began to trick my body into being able to handle a better cardio workout without actually jogging.
• I increased the distance I walked. I started at 20 minute sessions and increased those to 50 minute sessions.
• Finally, I began jogging during a session, starting at 3 minutes. Each week, I increased it by a minute.
• Someone posted a Facebook status about loving a book called "Born to Run". I checked out the eBook and it totally inspired me to do even more running. With the book and with the noticeable progress being made, I had even more motivation to run.
• Next, I began trying to walk for a while, then jog for a few minutes, then walk again, etc. I slowly began to be able to jog for longer durations, while walking less in-between jogs.
• In July, while on vacation, I was able to walk/jog an entire 5k (3.11 miles). I was jogging for 5 minutes, walking for 2 minutes, then repeating. I was very excited about this, since I could see the huge amount of progress being made.
• I then downloaded a free iPhone app called Couch-to-5k. This is a nine-week program that trains you to going from being unable to run to being able to run a 5k. I jumped in at week 4 since I was already able to do some jogging. I completed this program in September, meaning I could jog non-stop for over 30 minutes, completing a 5k.
• I signed up for an actual 5k race, since that had become one of my goals.
• I practiced running a 5k several times, and in October, 2012, my son Jonah and I actually participated in the 5k. I placed 46th out of 130, in 31:45 minutes!

Perspective change
As time progressed, I noticed a major perspective change concerning running. At first, I saw it as a necessary means to an end. It was so difficult. I would be exhausted, drenched in sweat, and just barely enduring to the end. Slowly it got a bit easier. Then, in reading the "Born to Run" book, I discovered that running really is good for the mind. I could use that time to enjoy the scenery, clear my head, and enjoy the outdoors. I began to look at it more from a "I get to run" perspective instead of a "I have to endure this" perspective. I took lots of different routes, saw new neighborhoods, and sometimes drove to other locations to enjoy a change of scenery. Running began to change from a task to something I enjoyed. I began to think, "Oh, this is great weather to go for a jog." I actually began to crave wanting to go out running, regardless of the weather. Now I love it; there is just an incredible feeling of challenging yourself to run further or faster than you thought possible. I love the feeling of accomplishing yet another goal. I love being able to have the time to think, to pray, to just be - without all the distractions of life. I love being outside in all kinds of weather - hot, cold, rainy, misting. And running in the dark is awesome.

Progress since that first 5k

• I immediately set new goals - running further, running faster.
• On Thanksgiving morning, Jonah and I ran a 3.75 mile race.
• A few days ago, I ran my first 10k (6.2 miles).
• I have improved my minutes per mile of continuous running from a mid-11 minute mile to now a high 8-minute mile.
• I've incorporated intervals into my running, so I run at a steady pace for a time period, then run fast for a time period. I keep repeating that process for 20 minutes. It is very difficult, but it helps build endurance and speed, and helps provide the ability to run fast at the end of a race instead of stumbling across the line.

In October, it was a challenge to run 5k; I do that now without even thinking anything of it. That means I have set my goals higher, and it is easy to see the progress I've made.

Current goals
While there are many reasons to run, goals help keep me focused. Feel free to help keep me accountable and encourage me in my current goals:

• Run faster. I want to reach an 8:30 minute mile average on a 5k. Longer term, I want to break into the 7 minute mile timeframe.
• Run further. I sort of accomplished this goal a few days ago. I have wanted to run a 10k. I did that around the neighborhood at a slow, steady pace. But I want to do a real race, really running. My goal now is to do that in 55 minutes.  I just ran my first 10k in 63:44, so I have to shave off almost 9 minutes. I am doing a 10k training program that will increase my endurance and my speed.
• Increase my interval amounts. Currently I run steady for 2 minutes, then sprint for 20 seconds, repeating several times. I want to increase that to a point of running steady for 5 minutes and running fast for 5 minutes; repeating for 20 minutes.
• Sign up for more races. I've already scoped out several races that I really want to participate in during 2013. Races challenge me and it is fun to run in new locations.
• Be contagious. I'd love to see more of my family and friends begin this journey and we can all enjoy the benefits and the fun of running.

My hope is that as you read this, it placed a desire within you to run. I'm not going to deny it: running is very challenging and sometimes is just brutal. But it is so rewarding. The benefits for your health, for your mind, and even for your spirit are great. It is an incredible feeling to have the satisfaction and realization that you are doing something that a short time ago you may have felt was impossible. In our lives, we may sell ourselves short concerning our physical abilities, our beliefs in ourselves, and our beliefs that we can accomplish something in life. Getting a faster time won't have eternal consequence, but it can have an effect upon how we view ourselves. When we recognize that there is much more in us than than we realize, we may have the confidence to then achieve something truly great! May we tap into our potential and in the process enjoy an incredible sport!

Running. There is nothing like it.

Who Are You? Do I Care?

Am I really the person that I appear to be on Facebook?  Am I the person I appear to be at a church function?  Am I really the person you see at the store?  At work?  With my family?

Are you?

It is easy to view someone through whatever narrow lens that we may know each other by.  Looking at my recent Facebook posts, you may think that I am consumed with running, very family-oriented, and have an odd sense of humor.  You may be right... or you may be wrong.  Do you really know me?  Do I really know you?

And do you care?  Do I care?

Are we content to know one another on some sort of surface-level and call it good?  We may even consider each other friends.  But is it enough?  Do we want it to be enough?

Each of us are much more than a collection of Facebook posts, small talk in the grocery store, or hanging out after a movie.  Each of us are complex people, made up of past experiences, genetics, and personalities.  We are a people who may long to be real and transparent, but are afraid to show our real selves.  We may want to open up, but remain closed.  We may try to be vulnerable, but pain quickly draws us inward.

Each of us have our issues.  Each of us can put up a facade for others.  Do those close around us know our fears, our pain, our insecurities, or our dreams?  Do we hide from opening up, content to keep those things to ourselves?

Do we want others to know that we are weak?  That we have struggles?  That everything may not be as it appears?  Or do we paint over the blemishes with a cheap coat of superficial paint?

These past few years have been the hardest of my life. I have shared some of it with some people.  Usually when I do, I discover that others have also been through very painful experiences, perhaps much more difficult than mine.  We all have pain.  We all need the grace of God in our lives.  We all need the grace of our friends and family in our lives.

As we start this new year, may we come to grips with who we are: our strengths, weaknesses, failures, and successes.  May we begin to appreciate each other - faults and all.  It is through our weaknesses, with a reliance upon Christ, that we can become strong.  It is when we become real with ourselves, our friends, and our Savior that we begin to find healing.  When we begin to look beyond ourselves and attempt to view our friends through Christ's eyes that we learn grace and forgiveness towards others.  Far easier said than done.  But that is a challenge for each of us, especially myself.

May this year be a year of healing, of being real, and of strengthening our relationships!

Interested in Losing Weight? A Bit of Encouragement and Tips.

As we start the new year, many of us are interested in losing weight. If you do need to lose some weight, let me encourage you and also share a bit of my weight loss journey. I hope it could be helpful as you start your journey.

At the beginning of 2012, I was in bad shape. For many years, I settled for being 10-15 pounds overweight. I attempted to lose weight a few times, and would lose five or ten pounds but quickly gain it back. Then three years ago, I began having some health issues that resulted in 35 pounds of weight gain, complete loss of energy, and I was very discouraged & depressed. I struggled through work, and by the time I got home, I pretty much didn't get off the couch. I would get winded climbing a set of stairs. I hated how my thighs would rub together when walking, and I developed a bit of a waddle so that they wouldn't rub together. I could only jog for one minute on the treadmill. At the end of the running, my back hurt horribly due to too much weight on my chest. I didn't play sports with my kids, not wanting to put out the effort. I easily broke out in a sweat, even from simply walking around a store.

I was now 40-45 pounds overweight. I knew I needed to change things. I knew that my past attempts were not successful. I also knew that I didn't want a short-term fix and then gain the weight back. I wanted long-term results. I wanted to not only lose weight, but have more energy, be able to play sports, and feel better about myself.

Let me share a few things that I've learned this year that may be of help or interest to you.

Weight loss
My plan of attack was to begin counting calories and eat better. I also planned to exercise consistently - lose some weight via the treadmill and not even attempt to jog until I had lost about 20 pounds. In order to lose weight, I did the following:

• I downloaded a free iPhone app called MyFitnessPal (also available for Android and the web). In the past, I had always avoided counting calories because I thought it was way too hard. This app has most foods and restaurant items already in it. So, in less than a minute, I can add my calorie/fat/carb intake. The app keeps track of the calories, my suggested limit, and weight loss progress. I set a goal of 1.5 pounds per week. I wanted the weight to slowly come off, and that I was truly losing weight and not just starving myself. I have meticulously kept track of my calories all year. To me, what is important is that my weekly amount is right around my goal; some days may be lower, some days higher. Viewing it from the weekly standpoint, I can then have a day where I may "splurge" and eat extra.
• I tried to change some eating habits. I don't eat much food now late at night. I try to eat a decent breakfast. I try to eat more light snacks when I get hungry so that I don't get to a point where I am starving. I eat less junk food. Other than that, really I am just trying to eat normal portions of foods and I did not eliminate particular food items from my diet.
• I began exercising consistently. As a family, we began doing workout nights three times a week. I often did an additional workout day on my own. I exercised for about 45 minutes each session. We rotated between workout stations, with 10 minutes each of Zumba, weight lifting, treadmill, and floor exercises.
• After losing 20 pounds, I began very slowly to add jogging to my exercises. I knew that with a bad back, I couldn't progress quickly. Even though I was in better shape by this time, I could only jog for 3 minutes before feeling like I was going to die. The reason I wanted to jog is that jogging/running is one of the best ways to burn calories and get into better shape. Over the past several months, that amount has increased to the point where now I can run for 5 miles (about 45 minutes) straight.

Progress to Date
So far I have lost 35 pounds. Usually during the holidays, it is very easy to gain 5-10 pounds. For me, I have stayed the same weight during the holidays - neither gaining nor losing weight. While I haven't been losing the weight these past few weeks, I have definitely been eating more than normal, including lots of sweets! Due to my weight loss, I also have much more energy and feel better about myself. I have discovered a love for running that I will discuss in another blog very soon. I have began wearing a size smaller pants, and some Large-size shirts instead of X-Large. It is amazing how different it feels seeing some shape to the body instead of trying so mask it with larger clothes.

Keep It Simple
Really that is it. It sounds simple because it really is simple. The hard part is the discipline. I tried not to get too wrapped up in the exact calorie counting or overdoing it on the exercise. What I wanted to see was progress. Here are a few things that I began to notice that seem to help:

• Drink water consistently. Try to avoid other beverages.
• Don't eat much within an hour or two of going to bed. A very light snack of some meat and cheese usually curbs the junk food urge.
• Sugars and fast food is addictive. If you can break the cycle of that addiction, it makes things easier. Also, realizing that in order to exercise off the number of calories in a Big Mac may take an hour and a half, it is less incentive to get one in the first place!
• Plan a consistent exercise schedule. Make it a priority for yourself and within your family. Don't make excuses.
• Exercise at home if possible. Yes, gyms are nice, but it also be less motivation if you need to get all dressed up and drive to a gym. There are many exercise routines that you can do very for no cost or very inexpensively right in your home.

Encouragement
If I can do it, so can you! I had attempted to lose weight numerous times, I was very unhealthy, I didn't have much going for me. But I did it. I stuck with my New Year's resolution. There is not a quick and easy remedy to losing weight that truly works. Losing weight is work, but it also is so rewarding. Let me encourage you to "Just Do It!" Just go for it. Be consistent. Be resolved to make a change. Be willing to make changes for yourself, your health, and for your family's sake. As time progresses, it becomes less work, and more of a lifestyle change. As you exercise more, your body begins to actually enjoy and crave exercise; it is not punishment but revitalizes you. As you exercise, your mind becomes less stressed, and you begin to have a better outlook on life. You can do it! Make this your New Year's resolution and be rewarded and transformed by your efforts!

The End of the World - Are You Ready?

Today is supposedly the end of the world.  There are lots of End of the World parties happening.  Lots of jokes about it.  Everyone laughs.  Everyone mocks it.  Yeah, the end of the world.  Right.

I have never believed that today would be the end of the world.  The Bible says that no one knows when the end will come.  I confess, I too have joked along with others about today being the end.  But under all of the joking, something has been bothering me.

What is bothering me is that everyone really thinks that the end is just a joke.  That it would never happen.  That life will always just continue on.  And it is then mocked.  The end of the world parties are an example of a the mockery.  People are saying in their own way, "Let us eat and drink for tomorrow we die.  Let's party now while we have the chance.  No need to examine our lives; let's just live it up."

While I don't believe that today is the end of the world; there is a chance that it could be the end for one of us... or maybe next year... or in five years. We don't know when "the end" is for each of us.  So many people die prematurely; accidents, health issues, disasters, or tragedies happen all the time.  And the Bible is clear that there truly will be an end of the world. There will be an end of each of us individually and collectively.

Consider these questions:

• How would we act if we knew our time was short?  
• What if today truly was the end of the world?  
• Are we right with God?  
• Do we know where we will go after death?

I believe many of us Americans really don't want to know the answers to those questions, or we don't like the thought of it.  So we ignore it with jokes, parties, and entertainment.  But it is not a joke.  Life is not a joke.  Life after death - heaven or hell - is not a joke.

I encourage you to think on the questions above.  Let me ask you one more question: Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?  If you know things are not right, then please get things right with Him.  If you don't know how to do that, or would like to talk about it, I'd love to be able to help.  I, or another Christian, can show and explain to you what the Bible says about our lives, our deaths, and the "End of the World."

This isn't just about what happens after death.  A real and personal relationship with Jesus will absolutely transform your life and He is the only one who can truly do that.  He is the only one who can really bring peace in a messed up life and world.  He is the one who sets the example of what real love is.  I encourage you to believe and trust in Jesus today.

Whether the end is soon or a long time off, having a personal relationship with Jesus will lead to an eternity of learning and growing while experiencing His love and peace.  I promise you that your life will never be the same!

Keith